Forbidden Homeland.

It’s a part of my life that has been locked away. Under a full padlock, chained door, a heavy moat filled with nightmare-fueled sharks, snapping at my feet the second I think about knocking. All while she grins on the other side. A smile that says ‘Ha, you can’t beat me.’

Is it worth it? Is it worth making your only sister cry? Is it worth tearing apart a family that was already held together by duct tape and string?

Of course it is. Because it means you won. You get the family. You get the homeland. You get the memories and stories. Priceless moments when we would kill to have only a second.

Still, you smile and laugh. Your fabricated stories testing the limits of reality. It’s hard to forget them. You made sure of that. We laugh now. What else can we do?

Was it worth bringing your only daughter into it? Sculpting a life that was aimed at destruction? Creating a version of events that tormented a young mind to the point of perpetual loneliness?

Of course it was. Because you are now the sun. Everything to a child that could’ve made it. You make up the chaos with history. With a family that I will never know.

It’s just out of reach, just the way you wanted it. Heritage, culture, family. Rightful things that should shape us to be who we are - nothing more than just a whisper of ‘if only’.

If only we said something.

If only you cared.

If only they weren’t afraid of you.

But it’s okay. Because I have the one thing that you don’t have.

I have her.